Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
