This is not my ceiling
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
