Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
