Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
