that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
