I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
