sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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