its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
