found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
