Just fell off a train. Bad.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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