is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
