wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
