Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
