if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Reggie can tackle my bush.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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