I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
