she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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