What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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