Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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