If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
