naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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