i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
