one two three fourrrrnication!
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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