My cat gives me a boner
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
