You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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