i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
