Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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