my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
