Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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