yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
