I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize