id be glad to
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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