he thought i was a dude.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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