this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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