hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
