Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
