Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
