you guys were way drunker than both of me
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
