Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize