Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
if only i could text you this smell
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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