what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
