Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
