Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You've changed since you got that strap on
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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