Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
