Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize