oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
