It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
