i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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