before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
