wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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