she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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