when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize