no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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