Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
