he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
