Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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