Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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