We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
