so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
