I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
