Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
