Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
