I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize