Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
