She just used a chaser for red wine.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
