Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
