I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
