Just mADE A PArabola og urine
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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