A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize