Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
