lets start a swedish sibling band together
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
