this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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