dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
