You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
