You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize