You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
