I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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