try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize