he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
