Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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