She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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