In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
