This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up under a house in Key West
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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