At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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