I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize